Haifa 7-9th November 2010

The bus from Tel Aviv to Haifa was only an hour and a half but in that time the scenery had become much greener. I got to the bus station and after more security and bag checks I jumped on the local bus to try and get to the train station that a hostel was nearby. When asking where I needed to get off it became apparent that less people speak English in the north than in Tel Aviv. I was told by one girl that the last stop was the train station. And the driver said he would let me know when we got there. After 20 minutes or so the bus stopped outside the port building the driver looked up mumbled something in Hebrew and then after a few seconds closed the doors and drove on….after another 20minutes it became obvious something was wrong as we seemed to be going out of town. We then reached the last stop that turned out to be another bus station. Seemed the girl who gave me instructions had substituted train for bus and the driver had been mumbling to me in Hebrew 10 minutes earlier in Hebrew that I was at my stop…..thanks drive!!! Another 6 sheckle bus ticket saw me get off in the right general area of town and find my hostel.


The “Port Inn” was a proper hostel infinitely better than “Petra hostel” in Jerusalem. Got a dorm room and then went for a wander in town. My first impression of Haifa was that there wasn’t much there just construction sights and office buildings. The whole town is built on the side of a hill so most of the walking was up hill through winding streets….After 2 hours of trying to find a decent looking place to eat I decided out of frustration I would eat at the next place I saw….I was in for a treat.

The next place I saw was a Kebab shop in the Hadar area of town……I don’t know what it was called but it was as moving an experience for me as anything I saw in Jerusalem…THE BEST KEBAB EVER by a country Mile….Israel is the undisputed king of the Kebab league now….I feel the need to devote some words to this:

A huge portion of meat donner in pita bread with humus, salad lumped on then and then more meat + curry and yogurt sauce on top ..this was exceptional by its self….., but If you ate in the restaurant you got a side plate of veg buffet for free and could help yourself to some amazing dishes to go with the Kebab….Mediterranean style aubergine, cauliflower..corriander with lemon, 5 different sauces ,chick peas salad and chillies + a bunch of stuff I had never seen or tasted the likes of before….I piled my plate high somewhat sheepishly hoping I wasn’t taking liberties, only to be handed another free side plate with falafels in a creamy sauce…… The combination of flavours was incredible… I was in Kebabylon for 15 minutes!!!…it was spicy too, at the end of the dish the seeds of one of the stewed peppers caught me out and were blowing my head off…. had to wait 5 minutes to recover feeling in my face …..ah man what a revelation! why aren’t end of night kebabs in Britain that good????…..I went to pay, feeling the whole experience was worth at least a tenner or even more, to be charged just 20 sheckles ( around 4 quid ) for the pleasure….outstanding….I will be highly surprised if I find another Kebab as good as this one anywhere in the world! Kudos mystery named Haifa Kebab restaurant…. Kudos to you!

That evening in the hostel I got chatting over a beer to a guy from DC who was on a bit of a religious pilgrimage round Israel by bike. A nice enough guy was interesting seeing how his experience of the holy land as a Christian differed from mine as an agnostic …

Next morning the previous nights chilli surprise was catching up with me and I was up early and in considerable pain…I don’t know why I have to “spice it up holmes!” all the time…..its hardly what the body needs after 2 weeks of digestive trouble…..ah who am I kidding I regret nothing!!

After some coffee in the hostel I set off to go on a free tour of Haifa centrepiece. The Baha’I gardens…Baha’I is the world youngest recognised religion and was started in the 19th century in Persia and the profit was known a “bob” (corruption of Arabic for gate) . The follows of Baha’I had built the gardens around the shrine of “bob” in the last 20 years to mark the place where he lived out his life in exile….The gardens themselves were on 18 terraces and looked a bit like a Chelsea flower show display meets Vegas mini golf course on steroids.

There was a free tour every day at 12pm so I set off in search of the entrance at the top pf the hill. Haifa streets seem to run from side to side up the hill with no clear cut through. After 30 minutes of hot uphill hiking I made it to the mid way point where I met a “helpful” taxi driver who told me the tour started at 1130 and I had 2 miles left to walk but he could help me out with a good price for a ride…..I knew this was bull shit and 15minutes later I was a t the gates with 15minutes to spare…what an asshole! You expect that kind of thing in Egypt and can even go someway to understanding it when people are really struggling for money …but this guy was obviously a con artist and could have potentially ruined someone’s day if they turned back because of his info…douchbag!!

Ah well rant over the garden themselves were impressive and got some good photos of the sea view around Haifa…….definitely worth the hike although bob’s shrine was under restoration so you couldn’t see it ….I seem to be having bad luck with that sort of thing ( see Berlin instalment)


After leaving the gardens I decided to try and find the beach for a swim…according to my map there were 2 beach areas, the closest of which took me about 45minutes to walk to… when I got there was no beach per say and swimming was prohibited.. My legs were killing me but I decided to start walking down the coast top see if the beach got any better… with no one else around on the trail and the sun shining down over the med I felt in splendid isolation and ended up walking about 5km down the shore to the next beach area…this involved an inadvertent trespass in some railway land…I decided to ignore what looked like warning signs as they were in Hebrew and feign ignorance if questioned….after about an hour or so I had to climb under a locked gate to reach the legal part of the beach…….it was worth the walk….when I did reach the bathing area (that seemed to be scattered only with the odd group of Russian pensioners ) my Dogs ( feet ) were barking ( sore ) so I dived right in . The water was crystal clear and the perfect temperature…so refreshing felt fantastic after putting in the effort to get there…after a couple of hours of sunning I got the bus ( same one I got the day before) back into town and then went back to Kebabylon to eat with the dude from DC ( on my wholeheartedly enthusiastic recommendation) … That evening had a few more beers in the hostel and got chatting to a couple of Canadians and a Mexican guy…..exchanged some good travel anecdotes and I have to say “the port inn” is one of the coolest hostel I’ve been to in a while. The travellers I met there were a different cut to the majority of partiers I had met in Europe over the summer ,most people had been or were going to India/SE Asia so I got some good advice for the next part of the trip.

With my budget in mind, I managed to call it a night around 11pm after declining an invite to the pub from the hostel staff …..Am I getting a bit more responsible ???? Hmm seems that way, its amazing how the urge to drink/party declines at the same rate as your budget…..

Next morning had a good conversation about anthropology + politics with the Canadian guys and then got the train back to Tel Aviv airport to await my flight…..


To get to India I had to fly back to London for a couple of days then get a flight from Heathrow to Mumbai ( long story but worked out cheaper to do that than fly direct from Israel)…..the security on the way out of Tel Aviv was tight…I had to unpack all of my stuff while the staff searched for traces of explosives in my bags, and asked me the same questions I had been answering all week at every train/bus station….after a 5 hour flight I was back in the UK and getting a night bus from Victoria to Crystal palace at 1am in the bitter cold. 2 days to sort everything out for the next 6 months now and then I’m off again…….next stop India …..watch this space



Middle East Summary

Well I’ve wanted to go to Egypt and Israel ( along with the rest of the middle east I didn’t get to ) for a long time and I have to say this trip was awesome. Was the perfect training exercise for the next extended leg…spend a week getting used to Egypt then a week of intense solo travelling on a budget in Luxor/Cairo/Alexandria then headed to Israel for a bit of a breather around the time I was hitting the first ( and worst )Fatigue wall of the trip Saw some amazing stuff +met some cool and interesting people.

The desert landscapes, and historical sites were obviously a highlight ,esp. pyramids at Giza and Sinai + Negev deserts, but also the trip was interesting from a modern cultural perspective. The experience of Egypt and Israel was vastly different ( bearing in mind I didn’t visit the West Bank properly in Israel). Egypt had the hectic third world vibe I had been wanting to experience while Israel in many ways was like being in a Hebrew speaking North Virginia in terms of the infrastructure, though the constant security checks and kids in uniform walking around with guns was a constant reminder that all was not well beneath the surface….

Would have loved to go to Petra but that will have to wait….maybe a trip to Syria/Lebanon/Jordan for a couple of weeks at some point in the future….overall I feel like this leg in the Middle East was a good taster of an area that’s is as politically complex as it is beautiful…………..

Tel Aviv 4-6th November 2010

Arrived in Tel Aviv around mid day and found my hostel pretty easily. The room was about 2 streets away from the beach. On first impression Tel Aviv reminded me of Vancouver minus the mountains ( so probably pretty similar to California coastal cities) Along the promenade were various muscle beaches, kite surfers, and parks that ran parallel to high rise office buildings and hotels on the edge of town. The sun seemed to be constantly shining above the sea.

My first stop was Old Jaffa to the south of the city ( cakes names after ) This was the original Ottoman fortification that the city was built around after portioning in 1948.
I met up with my friend Yaara who I had met in Venice earlier in the year. She was on leave from the army so had offered to show me around. Spent the afternoon/evening touring the different areas of the town. Its always good to have some local knowledge and Yaara was a lovely person to spend time with.....

It was Friday afternoon and the beginnings of Shabbat the Jewish holiday ( some people refuse to bowl at this time …..) so there weren’t many people in the streets. Friday evening is traditionally when families get together to have meals. ( see Venice instalment for more Shabbat anecdotes….) The feeling around town was very chilled out until around 11pm when people started hitting the streets to party. Hung out in some trendy areas where the buildings were all in an art deco style and the street were lines with shops and bistros….the vibes couldn’t have been more different to Egypt. Later we hit a few local bars, drinks weren’t cheap, we managed to get lost a few times along the way and I struggled to stay awake in parts of the night, but all in all was a great evening……


The next day I was suffering from lack of sleep and stomach problems again so had a slow start to the day…was hitting a travel fatigue wall and spent most of the day chilling by the beach and trying to re-hydrate myself. In the evening I walked back to the Old Jaffa area and saw an amazing view of the city from a hilltop park that contained some Egyptian ruins…..I was back in the hostel by 7pm and exhausted…. had to pass on an offer to go out again that night as the suggested meeting time was 12am (Israelis really do start late when they go out…. this is something ive been unable to adjust to, or maybe my age is starting to show? ) Was asleep by around 9pm and slept for a full 12 hours…..

Next day felt infinitely better took my time getting ready in the morning and then got a bus north to Haifa where I would spend the next couple of days. Tel Aviv was a great city, although I spent probably half my time there sleeping …sometimes you have to just take a break and get better as soon as possible…..still it provided some great, if brief, memories and was the perfect place to recover from a few weeks on the road… Lets see if Haifa brings more detailed adventures to report….

Jerusalem 3-4th November 2010

The bus from Cairo to Tabat ( Israeli boarder) was among the worst I have been on lately…the seats were in various states of repair and the air conditioning, again, seemed to be stuck on full blast making for another cold nights travel. Got to Tabat at 5am and then walked across the boarder, the difference between the Egyptian and Israeli infrastructure was immediately obvious. After a thorough bag search and questioning I was in Eliat and Israel! Managed to get a lift to the bus stop with some Americans who had come from back from Cairo on a day trip on the night bus and had a rental car waiting…skills saved forty sheckles. At 7am I was on the bus to Jerusalem……..

The landscape on the way through the Negev desert was amazing we passed by the dead sea ( surrounded by resort style hotel complexes) and the ancient fortress of King David at Masada. Unfortunately due to time restrictions I wouldn’t be able to visit either properly this trip.

Once in Jerusalem, and some more bag scanning at the bus station, I made my way to the old city to find a hostel. After negotiating with a few different “sales reps” I booked a dorm room in “Petra Hostel“. While the location was ideal, right next to Jaffa gate, the conditions were far from it. The floors were covered in dust from a construction site across the road and the staff were far from helpful. As the guide book put it the place had been visited by Mark Twain in his lifetime and not cleaned since. It was the cheapest I was going to find in town though (and still pretty expensive). Proportionally accommodation is well expensive in Israel. .My crappy dorm room worked out around 15pounds a night….bobbins lah!

My first sightseeing stop was a tour of the Old City ramparts. Pretty awesome the fortifications were built by the Ottomans in the 13th century and the views of the city from the top were amazing. After this I explored the city saw the western wall ate falafel and wandered around the Bazaar for a few hours taking it all in.

That evening returned to the dorm room and the overbearing smell of bad feet originating from a new occupant who was asleep in the dorm. Fearing a repeat of the horrors of AZ hostel in Prague earlier in the year, I instantly asked to be transferred to another room.

The soul inhabitant of the new dorm was a Jewish guy from Oxford called Dan. Dan was a forty year old drug and alcohol addict who was in Jerusalem to try and sort himself out. A really nice guy but with obvious problems. I shared a drink with him a learnt that he drank a bottle of vodka a day, was on prescribed methadone, anti depressants and had to take sleeping pills each night to sleep. A dangerous diet, to look at you couldn’t see much wrong with the guy apart from a slightly crazed look in the eyes and the voice of the super roadie from Wayne’s world 2.

After a few drinks in the hostel was ready to sleep and realised the time was only 9pm. The days seem a lot longer in the middle east, it gets light around 6am and dark by 5pm like winter back home, but the fact that its T shirt weather at the same time seems to be throwing my body clock somehow.



The next morning I sorted my bus ticket to Tel Aviv out and then got stuck into some more sight seeing in the old city. On my way to the mount of olives outside the city walls I ran into a crazy polish dude who had been living in America. He was also looking for the mountain so we went together. After a couple of minutes talking to the guy it became apparent that he was bonkers. He told me he was walking across Israel and sleeping rough wherever he could find a good spot. He looked the part for this, but he also said he had been in the US military …maybe true, but he was obviously in way worse condition than me and was out of breath halfway up the mountain.

All the way to the top he talked intensely about conspiracy theories such as: the nights templar were a homosexual Satanist sect, people who wear black and white combinations of clothes are vessels for unrestful spirits that are channelling their energy through them, various hidden symbols of power on the dollar bill had in his pocket ( I almost shouted “red team go!…. red team go! “), and various other babblings. At no point in his sermon did he actually say what the significance of any of this was to anything. I must have had a crazy magnet on in Jerusalem….. although this guy made Dan the junkie seem like Jeremy Paxman. In fact I got the impression that there were a lot of crazies drawn to Jerusalem…I guess you could say they had been going there for 2000 years or so.

I said goodbye to the Polish Profit at the top of the hill ( he had actually grown on me a bit by this point although anymore time spent in “lectures” would have been overkill.). I went back to the city to try see the dome of the rock but the gates were locked with a sign saying it was to holy for tourists to visit. I found out later it was only open in the mornings…..damn it that would have been cool. Next was the church of the holy sepulchre, built on the supposed sight of Christ crucifixion. It was typically rammed with Russian pilgrims, but have to say it was one of the cooler churches ive been too. Built on various different levels it had chapels from all denominations of the faith. Like an Epcot centre of Christianity.

That evening I bought some Vodka with Dan and we basically had a carbon copy of our previous conversations, on account of his bad memory. He was a pretty interesting guy though had a good knowledge of Israeli history, We then went to a shisa bar and after went to the new town. On the way Dan , who had been to Jerusalem many times showed me the sight of a bomb blast he had witnessed some years ago. I felt perfectly safe in Israel and it seemed like a Hebrew version of America to me, but the graphic description of the aftermath of the blast served as a reminder that the situation in the country is always volatile.

Dan had to go back to the hostel to take his medication(s) before too long so I said my goodbyes and stayed on in town and went to a few bars. Spoke to lots of Israelis who were all really friendly. Later I saw the worst blues band ever in one pub…… A 20minute sound check followed by one poorly delivered going through the motions number, and then another 5min sound check for some reason….Man that ain’t the blues…if you don’t got it you don’t got it…….

After a while I was pretty drunk….. with crissy bado threatening to make an appearance and beer selling at 5 quid a pint I went home early at around midnight. Seemed like 3am to me I later found out that 12am is the time most Israelis start going out…..

The next day had a mild hangover, left the hostel at 10 after talking with a Mexican guy at breakfast and caught the bus to Tel Aviv.

Only had a short while in Jerusalem but the old city was one of the coolest places ive ever been…a highlight along with the pyramids for this trip don’t think my words have done it Justice but im a bit behind on my blogs at the moment and the details are slightly hazy ….Its interesting to see the pilgrims and holy sights of the three major Semitic faiths in such close proximity….. the views and points of interest around the city were quite literally of biblical proportions…..

Alexandria 31 October - 2nd November 2010

Got to Alexandria in the late afternoon and found a cheap hotel along the sea front by the time the sun had set. The room was clean enough if you didn’t mind the odd cockroach but the shared toilet down the hall was straight out of trainspoting. With my stomach still not fully mended, I would recreate the famous scene ( less search for suppositories) a few times during that evening…..bad times! I decided the best thing for it may be to have a proper meal for the first time in a few days and replace some nutrients…found a clean looking restaurant…not bad: starters ,soup and main course + drink for about £3.50. (uk)

At first glance I wasn’t too blown away by Alexandria…. seemed pretty much the same as much of Cairo apart from having a sea front. I wandered around town for a while looking for something to do but it was pretty quiet in the streets, so had an early night.( again )

Next day started with breakfast in the same place I ate the evening before….( kebabs were the only thing on the breakfast menu….. Bigdogitus ensued ). Next a trip to one of the local coffee houses to plan my day. The coffee here was amazing , black and incredibly flavoured, the bottom 3rd of the cup contained the grounds so also strong as you like. A couple of cups of this stuff was like rocket fuel, and I set of at speed to check out the Greco-Roman sites the city was famous for.

My first destination was the Roman Catacombs which I decided, to my folly, to try and find on foot using the incredibly imprecise map in my guide book. After 30 mins walking down a dirty main road in town I came to the canal that the map indicated the site was adjacent too. Following the map I walked around the canal for another 15 minutes until it was clear that the position of the Catacombs on the map was inaccurate.

I found myself walking through an industrial area along side a stream that was clogged with refuse. No one around seemed to speak great English and didn’t seem to know where or what the Catacombs were. Annoyed and now roasting in the mid day sun I begrudgingly retraced my steps all the way back to the train station to try and find directions at the tourist info point…Along the way I found myself in some strange sheep market part of town where I seemed to be annoying all of the Sheppard’s by asking for directions. Got a sick feeling the locals were about to turn on me on mass (probably totally unfounded) and got the hell out of there quick sharp.

Walking around the Egyptian side streets on your own in a state of semi lost observation seems safe enough, and I do get a kick out off it ,imagining myself sometimes as a mist moving through the chaos…in reality, with no local knowledge on the ground, its impossible to know whether your presence is more like an annoying odour that will only be tolerated for so long…..generally though, I have felt really safe everywhere in the country. ( although constantly aware of the length of my hair)

When I got back to the centre of town the tourist info point turned out to be marked incorrectly on the map so I ended up hiring a taxi to take me to the entrance. This could be a risky business in terms of value as you could easily be overcharged and dropped at the wrong location. After some price negotiations and my refusal to get out of the car at a different historical destination ( Pompey’s pillar, only half way to the catacombs) I made it into the site.

The catacombs themselves were awesome, a subterranean Roman burial complex from the 2nd century AD, they were like something straight out of the last crusade. Spent a while exploring them along with some Japanese tourists. Next I made my way up to Pompey’s Pillar which was another impressive Roman site.

I then decided to get a taxi back to the train station in order to make it the town museum before it closed .( the mornings hike to “garbage canal” had put me way behind schedule for the day)

The taxi driver was a happy dude called Ali…( if anyone from Cardiff remembers Tom the Barman from Hannah Evans’ birthday camping weekend a few years ago, Ali was the Egyptian equivalent )

However due to an unfortunate misunderstanding he took me to totally the wrong place. When I said as a destination “Main railway station” he had answered (with what I thought was understanding ) “ yes important Station”

20 minutes of rush hour side streets later we arrived at the City Port Gate……Turns out “important station” was actually “In The Port Station“….ah well shit like this happens….the traffic was so bad by this point there was no way I would make the museum so I jumped out close to my hotel after having a broken conversation about Egyptian footballers “ Zakki, Mido etc “ with my driver…was refreshing to have a decent conversation ( or attempt of one ) with a taxi driver without worrying about being ripped off for a change.

That night I ate at McDonalds again after deciding to stick to western food until my stomach had recovered. The traffic jam was just as solid as it had been in the afternoon and the constant fumes and horn beeping were beginning to get the better of me for the first time since I got to Egypt…another quiet night was had once I had reached breaking point after 30mins or so of trying to walk the streets through the gridlock.

The next morning I had to get the train back to Cairo to get a night bus to Taba and the Israeli border, all the way back in Sinai close to Dahab. I arrived back in Cairo to more gridlock and a hellish attempt to find the bus station I needed without attracting tourist touts, who would offer to help me to the station and offer to get my ticket for me, only to then tell me that the bus was full and then offer me a tour of Cairo’s Egyptian markets. One such offer came straight away but I made it clear to the guy that I was only interested in directions to the bus station and nothing more ….later gave him a tip for providing exactly that service….( tipping or “baksheesh “ is a way of life here and I had started handing out small bits of change when I felt it had been earned through service. For example in depth directions and services of porters etc …not because I was being hustled but because it was the expected thing to do)

I bought my ticket from the bus station, which had an air conditioned Western style shopping mall above it , around 2pm and then walked out into the impoverished streets to kill some time before the bus left at 10pm.

This instant transition from western style comfort to surrounding poverty is always a surreal and moving occurrence for me. The difference between have and have-nots in the developing world becomes strikingly obvious…crazy (I wish I had time to devote more words to the subject but that’s not the aim of this blog.) .

Spent the next few hours wandering around some areas of Cairo that I had missed earlier in the week. Before long the noise of gridlock was doing my head in again and I went back towards the centre of town via the metro at the busiest time of the day. Okay on first impression I thought the metro had seemed efficient ( must have been in a quiet spell) but during rush hour it was crazy busy….. like a massive rugby maul, people pushing hard in all directions to get on and off trains…just had to go with the flow and hope like hell that no one fell down and caused a mass trampling……having survived one such powerful heave I had to laugh out loud at the madness of it all……..

Eventually made it back to the bus station/shopping mall and spent a few hours in quiet solitude before the night bus….had to admit I was feeling a bit Egypt-ed out by this point. The people had on the whole been fantastic hosts, but the claustrophobic feel of the inner streets could be hard to endure at times and I hadn’t really met any other travels to share to ordeal with. Was looking forward to getting into Israel the following day and finding a change of pace………

Cairo, 29th -31st October 2010

By the time I had woken up properly in the morning we were in Cairo station. Which was in a state of semi repair and basically had an open building site in the middle of it that you had to walk through to exit the station…no “health and safety gone mad ” in this country.

After ignoring many an offer of a taxi ride I got onto the metro system, that was surprisingly efficient and less crowded that the London underground. A couple of stops later I was in the downtown area and started looking for a cheap hotel. After 30 mins of searching and lots of help from people in the street I found one that was listed in the guidebook. A decent enough place with clean rooms and wi-fi. I also booked a driver to take me to the pyramids the following day with them.

By the time I had chilled out for a bit it was early afternoon and I set off for the Egyptian Museum that was just down the road. The heat of the afternoon was intense and so was the traffic in the streets. Crossing the road anywhere in Cairo is like the old school videogame “frogger”. People just walk out into the street in front of cars, the only rule seems to be that if you change your pace as a pedestrian crosser you are in more danger. Not easy to get used to.

Outside the museum building I was told by a well meaning local that the musuem was closed for “siesta” for forty minutes but that was the perfect amount of time to visit the last day of the Egyptian market …hmmm that old chestnut . I just laughed at the guy and told him I had already been to the last day of the market yesterday…he found this amusing and wished me a good time in Egypt ….

The museum itself was packed with tour groups and was more crowded at times than the Sistine chapel in Rome had been. There was plenty of cool stuff in there but the backing information clearly hadn’t been updated since the early 70’s and not long after getting inside I felt the last couple of days catching up with me….My legs were burning with pain after being cramped up on the overnighter and I felt generally exhausted. Forced myself to spend a couple of hours going round all the areas of the building and was honestly unsure afterward whether I had the energy to get back to the hostel.

I did make it back after stopping for food in the dreaded McDonalds. I was way to tired to try and find a decent meal and decided to opt for an evil I knew ( had been hoping my 2 cheeseburger meal days were behind me after being skint in Europe). On the plus side they still super size meals in Egypt so I got A decent fill at a cheaper than normal rate.

Back a the hostel I flaked out on my bed then soon realised that my general tiredness may be part of some wider plot of unhealth against me. A few trips to the toilet later I knew that I once again had the unavoidable 3rd world stomach problems. Spent the night in a state of semi fever with constant trips to the bog and an unquenchable thirst. Was praying I would be okay for the pyramid trip in the morning…….

My prayers must have been answered by Anubis ( Egyptian god ) as in the morning, after coffee and a light breakfast, I felt solid enough to make it out for the tour. I was met in the lobby of the hostel by my driver for the day who called himself “(Egyptian ) Bob “. My slight disappointment about being the only person on the tour ( hadn’t yet meet any other like minded travellers in Cairo and this seemed like a good opportunity) disappeared after Bobs car turned out to be a souped up Mitsubishi….ahh yeah drivin in style!

So we hit the highway on the way to Giza and the great pyramid/sphinx first. On the motorway the true madness of the Egyptian highway code became apparent. No lanes, some strange beeping as you overtake system, and pedestrians crossing the motorway in suicide gambles to get to work in the morning. The true size of the city became clear after a while .Cairo is the biggest city in Africa and Bob reckoned about 20million people lived there….mind boggling considering the conditions most of the population lived in. Soon we could see the pyramids rising above the urban slums of the city. Fairplay they were huge….. a lot bigger than I had been expecting.

On the way Bob had been trying to up sell me a tour round Giza by horse or camel…I had heard of scams where the camel driver takes you to the desert and then demands more money for your return to the site…I made it pretty clear I wasn’t interested and made my way from the “government “ stable car park to the entrance on foot.

Luckily I still had my 8 year out of date student card and managed to use it to get half price entry to all the sites. After a very Egyptian style security check on the gates I was inside the pyramid site and staring at the Sphinx! The pyramids at Giza are really mind blowing, the coolest place I have ever been to on earth as of this date! Despite the persistent touts and tour groups the site was magical…… right on the edge of the desert with blue skies as backdrop to the amazing constructions….spent about 2.5 hours walking around taking photos and refusing offers of camel rides, but easily could have spent a whole day there. There really was a lot to see…. even more impressive when you consider the age of the site.

Next stop was the oldest pyramid in Egypt , the step pyramid at Saqqara (only after I told Bob we could skip the papyrus “museum” though) . On the way my driver was clocking speeds of around 120km per hour on clear stretches of the no lane two way road and then pulling all kinds of crazy Manoeuvres in traffic… After narrowly avoiding what I though would be a head on collision he smiled at me with a thumbs up gesture and said triumphantly “ Bob Schumacher!!”…madness…

The step pyramid was almost equally as cool as Giza and also almost equally as full of tourist touts. I had by this point come to view the touts as cold callers who read from a pre set script ….they all had the same objection handling answers and could be annoying but effectively were just as easy to ignore as someone calling your home from an Indian call centre. The usual introduction went as follows:

Tout “where are you coming from ? “
Tourist/Victim “X ( insert country here)”
Tout “ah X…number one country ..me no like people from Y( insert another country ) X is nicest peoples”
Tourist/Victim “thank you”
Tout “ you want to take camel ride today its cheap price….“ etc

According to one of the corrupt guards I was talking to later that day “Have a Guess” was the number one country in all the world…hilarious!

After Saqqara I went to an open air museum at Memphis and then the pyramids at Dahshur. Here I could go inside for free ( was an extra tenner at Giza). The ramp down into the centre of the stones seemed to go on forever through a very low ceilinged passageway ….was pretty uncomfortable for someone my height. Once inside the air became acrid and hot. However the vault was impressive and inside you could see graffiti from other visitors going back hundreds of years …..pretty cool.

Took about a hour and a half to get back into central Cairo through the surrounding villages and rush hour traffic. Gave Bob a tip when we got back for not hard selling the camel tour and papyrus museum to me.

All and all I can say the pyramids are the coolest historical site Ive been to by a log way …not just because of the uniqueness of the monuments but also because of the amazing location and all the crazy locals running around the place. Its also surreal when you think about the amount of money they draw in for the government in light of the poverty of the surrounding towns.

That evening I got the metro to the old part of the city that was the Christian capital until the 11th century. Unfortunately the oldest buildings in Coptic Cairo were now all inside a closed for the evening museum so I had to make due with strolling around the site, saw the oldest mosque in the city and also talked to a few of the locals who were happy enough to chat. Even the taxi drivers were helpful once I had explained that their cheap price of a ride back into town could not beat the metro for value.

Spent the rest of the evening wandering around the street in the downtown area. Stopped off for a beer in a local bar that was showing Spurs getting beaten by Man U. I don’t know why I bother watching football on the road …..always seems to disappoint when you could be doing something more interesting. Should have learnt my lesson after last summers world cup debacle.

The streets of Cairo are vibrant pretty much all night long. It is definitely a lot more modern in places than I was expecting and there is something about it that I really like but its hard to describe exactly what that is after such a short time spent there …wish I had a few more days to get to know the city better. The vast majority of people I met were extremely friendly, honest and helpful.

Had an early-ish night again after deciding my stomach and wallet were not quite up to testing the nightlife out in more detail ….got a decent night of sleep and a rare lie in before catching the train the Alexandria the next day…

Luxor 26th-28th October 2010

Managed to sleep okay on the night bus after admiring some awesome desert views through the window at dusk. Had 2 seats to myself for about 85% of the journey. On an 18 hour ride this amount of space was unheard of! I awoke in the morning to see a very different landscape outside the window. We were approaching Luxor through the Nile Valley and the land seemed green and lush with farming villages and agricultural plantations along the way. Reminded me a lot of many parts of India I had visited.

The bus predictably stopped at a taxi rank short of the town station and I ended up sharing a cab into town with a Japanese girl while a tourist tout tried to recommend hotels to us…..

The tourists hustlers in Luxor were a lot more demanding than those in Dahab. As soon as we got to the central station they descended on us like a plague of locusts….

Luckily the hostel I was looking for was represented so managed to avoid most of the melee by agreeing quickly to see a room there . The “Bob Marley “ hostel had been reviewed well on the internet….upon arrival it didn’t quite live up to its reputation…no wi-fi, dirty, no bar etc…..I began to realise that nothing would live up to expectations in Egypt….had to hard bargain to get a cheap room price…worked out at 3 pounds (uk) a night for a private room…..not bad!

Met a nice Canadian couple from Quebec in the lobby and we all booked a tour of the west bank tombs( valley of kings/queens ) the following day.

I then set out on my own to check the town out….yep Luxor had that proper third world feeling I had been expecting but didn’t find during the previous summer in Turkey . Hot, dusty, traffic chaos, petrol fumes, various forms of rot along the main streets….made my way to the train station to be told that I couldn’t buy an advance ticket to Cairo for the following evening until the next day as the system had to update over night……..another thing I hadn’t seen on the European leg was the travel chaos caused when there are no legible signposts and everyone seems to send you in opposite directions to find things…..

Next I made my way down to the banks of the Nile with the intention of walking the 2km or so to the Karnack temple ( one of the best Egyptian sites on offer). According to my guide book ( a piece of crap by the way inaccurate and crappy maps ) the tourist hustling along the banks of the river was meant to be among the worst in Egypt. Within seconds guys with offers of “ hello friend where are you coming from?”, “Ah number 1 country !” “U take boat trip good price for one hour”, “today is special day..last day of Egyptian market “….“my brother has shop”, …then more discretely “ u want to smoke some good stuff” etc etc etc…... Luckily my time in Morocco/India previously had prepared me for this and after engaging the first couple of offers with polite but disinterested conversation, I just began to ignore the offers altogether and eventually they left me alone…..

By the time I eventually got to the Karnack temple I was pretty exhausted..it was hot as hell! However once inside I felt rejuvenated….the columns of the temple were better than the Acropolis in Athens and the whole site had a magical feel about it as the sun grew lower and redder in the sky……spent about 2 hours exploring the complex and reusing requests for “baksheesh” (tips) from the local workers for crappy mini tours of certain areas of the ruins . Even the armed guards were in on the action…two let me onto a closed off bit of the external wall to take “ panoramic photo” and then asked for money when I came down a sincere sounding “ sorry I have no small notes but thanks for your help “ seemed to suffice.

After leaving Karnack my feet were aching so I managed to barter a cheap ride back to the town centre with a guy in a horse drawn cart who suggested I help him to entice other tourists for a ride

“ come my friend we can make good business together”…I reply ” im on holiday dude the last thing I want to do is make business”…disgruntled he dropped me 300m from my destination with some bullshit excuse about traffic restrictions…hilarious ! and worth the equivalent 30 pence I paid him just for the story alone.

Back at the Bob Marley hostel there was nothing afoot so headed out to see if I could find a beer anywhere…the pub listed in the guidebook turned out not to exist and my long hair ( by Egyptian standards), seemed to be gathering some unwelcome attention from some of the rougher locals….. so in the end headed back to my room for an early night …slept like a log!

Next morning me and the Quebec guys joined the tour of the west bank we had arranged….we were crammed into a mini bus with a few Russians, Koreans and Japanese and introduced to our guide Hammed who apparently spoke the best English in Luxor……( he didn’t )…could hardly understand him as he reeled off from memory the standard tour guide script that I usually would avoid….(In this case the price of the cab and the tour guide were low enough to make it worth it …but his disinterest in answering questions throughout the day was obvious.)

The sites themselves were well impressive first the Valley of the Kings and tombs painted with original frescoes from around 900BC, then a temple complex , then the standard trip to the “craftsman’s village” where we were touted ( all be it very good quality ) alabaster statues …including some that glowed naturally in the dark…..( actually the glowing ones were really cool had I had some more money may have bought them up …assuming the glow in the dark bit wasn’t done with a trick light ) .We finished by visiting a couple of colossal statues before returning to the hostel 2hours before we were meant to….needless to say the envelope passed round for tips for “Hammed the best englished (sic) speaker in Luxor “remained empty.

Later that afternoon I got my train ticket for Cairo, did some blogging, ate and watched the sun set over the river at the Luxor temple while the locals attended mosque alongside row upon row of parked tour busses…..despite all the hassle I love this kind of situation and once the touts realise that you know they are bullshitting you, you can actually have some good conversations with them…..

Was targeted with a few more choice comments on my hairstyle while walking back to hostel…..

man pulls up on motorbike and shouts at me ..”hey longhair, ….you look a gay “ …

I reply loudly :“ no you do “….

He replies louder ” No You”….

Me angrily …“NO YOU!”….

His response to this “Hahahahhahnah” ……

my verbal assailant then speeds off on motor bike and I notice he is wearing a tight pink T-shirt with two other dudes all snuggled up on the seat behind him looking pretty damn gay by western standards....kettle …pot!!

(actually its not uncommon to see male “friends” in Islamic countries walking down the street holding hands or with arms around each other….This is just a regular male blooded show of friendship according to the local culture …however having your hair longer than your ears is obviously taboo….ah well rock and roll man! sticks and stones init…..)

Back at the hotel decided to get a couple of hours rest before catching the 11pm train to Cairo…after a while was woken by a knock on the door and the hostel staff stuck another person in my private room ( had 2 beds in it ), he himself just being kicked out of a private double as a couple ,and the opportunity of more money, had arrived looking for shelter…..got the impression that this type of thing would be common throughout Egypt ….the Frenchman now sharing the room ( for 3 hours at least ) was cool enough and on a similar 6 month trip to my own….I eventually left the hostel at 10pm after getting 10 Egyptian pounds knocked off my bill for having to share with another person for 3 hours
( was I starting to get the hang of bartering again????)

Typical train station chaos as I was given multiple train and carriage options by the well meaning locals…eventually found my seat in a first class cabin ..was sharing with an Egyptian, 2 Japanese and a French lady….no one was really talking so put the I-pod on, read for a while and then struggled to fall a sleep as the AC was so high…like seriously cold ,student flat in winter, chill….ended up wearing jumper, jacket and zipped up sleeping bag before I could finally drift off . I wasn’t expecting to use them for a while so had to successively struggle them out of the bottom of my pack in the dark and cramped cabin during the night …had broken sleep and crazy dreams as the train made its way slowly north to Cairo….

The return of MDSU +Dahab Oct 21st -26th 2010

The return of MDSU……….

Well its been a while…… two and a half months back in the UK saw MD working as a part time festival organiser, performer and painter/decorator…all and all pleasant enough, but largelt without incident. Come Oct 21st and the coldest day of Autumn so far, it was time to set sail again for sunnier skies…first stop the Sinai peninsular in Egypt. After enduring itchy feet since my return from Scandinavia I was hoping this next leg was going to be more intense than Europe…..


Dahab Oct 21st -26th 2010














The morning flight from Luton to Sharm-el-Sheik airport entailed a stay in a travel lodge near Luton airport the night before, and a 30 min walk from the train station through the cold and dark estates of the town to get there . I had been staying in London for a few days before hand and the changing of the seasons was apparent in the faces of the local population ….stress levels seemed higher on the tubes, people were layered up and suffering from the first waves of winter illness … dark by 6pm …a bleak scene…..I was ready to get out, and the night walk through Luton somehow felt like the last lap round the track at the end of an Olympic marathon……..

The next day a quick frost covered drive to the airport lead to a typically long queue at the easy jet check in …. after a 20 min wait in a huge line the staff tried to up sell “speadycheck in ” for a price of £19 pounds to the disgruntled “ regular check in “ customers .. This caused a round a blasphemous laughter as the speedy check in line was clearly in view and was just as backed up and understaffed as our own ….Rip off Britain in all its finery……..

5 hours later I was descending into Egypt along with members of my family, who I would be joining on a dive holiday in Dahab for the first 5 days of the trip before heading off to start solo adventures….a good way to say goodbye as I would be on the road for the following 6 months after leaving them.

The first sight of Sinai was inspiring. I had been reading TE Lawrence during the flight and the dark shapes of the Desert hills at dusk seemed ultra real as we flew closer in.

After coming through customs and buying a visa that none of the staff at the airport seemed to care or know if I should have, we met our with some other people from the dive group and formed a party of Seven. The next step was an hour cab ride from Sharm el; Sheik to the “Red Sea Relax Resort” in dahab…..

Two minutes of highway code madness made me remember how people drive in the developing world….I was sure by the end of the ride that if our driver was to take the UK theory test on Hazard perception he would have ended up with a negative score despite this being theoretically impossible…..ah back in the danger zone again!

The next few days consisted of mainly relaxing by the beach, doing some light snorkelling ( I wasn’t participating in the diving ) and regaining some of the colour in my skin that had faded since the end of summer……felt a bit strange having a relaxation week at the start of a big trip but you have to get the chill time in when you can. One late night drinking session in towns only Karaoke bar with an ex US special forces man, a Land rover enthusiast from Norfolk and a Gas worker from Newport was about a crazy as it got that week ….
Overall a good introduction to Egypt. Dahab was a very relaxed town and the accommodation I was staying in was likely to be the nicest on offer until I hit Australia the following summer… Also gave me a chance to brush up on some bartering skills that had not been called into use in almost a decade. The first few attempts on my part reminded me that one of the best tools in the 3rd world travel case is anger. Safe in the knowledge that my patience would be well an truly be tested by some of the worst tourist hustlers in the world in the following week, I allowed myself to relax as much as possible for the time being …even at inflated tourist rates Egypt was dirt cheap compared to Europe. Ironically though being a Moslem country the temptation to drink was not as prominent. There were less night spots meaning that I was likely I would be drinking less anyway …..I guess it all evens out in the end.

On my second last day I took a trip with my mom ( another non diver )to St Catherine’s protectorate , a Christian monastery at the foot of mount Sinai that pre dated Islam. The drive across the desert was spectacular, the ground changing from a rocky volcanic mars type landscape to a sandy lunar one straight out of Lawrence of Arabia. The monestary itself was typically crowded with tourists, this time Russian orthodox pilgrims rather than Japanese pensioners ….( .” hey anyone here like electric eel…errrh …Leningrad cowboys?”.

The chapel museum was the highlight. It contained various texts and paintings that dated back to the 6th century. The most impressive being a supposed original copy of the decree of protection Mohamed was said to have given the monastery during his rise to power in the area….the bottom section was said to display his hand print……okay maybe not entirely plausible but certainly more believable than the “original burning bush “ ( located outside) that Moses was said to have found on his way to discovering the 10 commandments ….hmmm didn’t seem even slightly singed to me ……

Spent the final morning in Dahab doing some last minute snorkelling on the local reef and saying goodbye to family ….next thing I knew I was on a bus leaving on an 18 hour night trip to Luxor and the valley of the kings …..Monkey Dolphin’s voyage was about to begin again in earnest…..